


Enough For You

by ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Junoverse | Juno Steel Universe, Other, Peter creates a new persona for Juno, Peter's gonna get the lady back, Season 3, gratuitous use of the Peter Nureyev alias generator, teen rating for mild swearing, the last chapter is just PURE FLUFF epilogue as a thank you to everyone that reads this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-07-31 16:16:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20117950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand/pseuds/ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand
Summary: Problem: Peter knows Juno fell in love with him as Rex Glass and Duke Rose. Then, when he became Peter Nureyev, Juno left. Conclusion: Juno just didn't like Peter Nureyev. Solution: get rid of Nureyev and create a NEW persona specifically to get Juno back, and to get him to stay.





	1. I Get It, No, I Really Do

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing Jupeter and I'm honestly terrified. (please be gentle) I promise actual plot will happen in the next chapter. 3 chapters planned so far.  
fic and chapter title from Enough for You by Maisie Peters

When he woke up one morning to cool sheets and an empty hotel room, Peter Nureyev had understood. Juno Steel had been an enigma in his life. He’d fallen uncharacteristically hard and fast for the grumpy, stalwart detective. He was unaccustomed to having feelings that reached deeper than whatever persona he’d donned for the day. There was something about Juno that’d caught him, though. And he felt like, through the gruff, dismissive exterior, he’d caught Juno, too. As Rex Glass, then Duke Rose, he had slowly gotten Juno to let down his walls and to trust him. 

Once he’d gotten Juno’s trust, that was when Peter had made his critical error. In the tombs, he’d given Juno a piece of himself that he couldn’t take back. Maybe Juno was right. A name was just a name. Just an idea. A vague outline of a person Juno had never met. Peter had no idea what Juno saw in those tombs. But as they’d walked out together, as they’d returned to Hyperion City together, he’d thought that they were going to be ok. He’d thought that Juno finally trusted him, trusted Peter Nureyev. So he’d torn down the walls, thrown off the disguises, and let himself be Peter Nureyev for the first time in two decades. 

And Juno had left. And Peter understood. He had promised Juno that, if it was what he wanted, he would leave alone. And so he did. He packed up his things, and he packed up Peter Nureyev into a neat little box and tucked it away in a dark corner where it could be forgotten, left to gather dust and vanish into the shadows. Juno hadn’t quite trusted Rex Glass, but he’d been attracted to him, and that had gotten him both what he’d needed and what he’d wanted, a successful theft and a kiss. He’d trusted Duke Rose, and again his persona got him what he needed, the key to his greatest heist yet. Peter Nureyev, on the other hand, had gotten him a broken promise and an empty bed. 

It was a failed persona, that had missed its mark and was therefore of no use to him. It was no different to any other persona, he told himself. Just another identity that he could shrug off and abandon. Peter Nureyev meant nothing anymore, he was no longer the Brahman boy who’d murdered his father any more than he was a Dark Matters Agent. So rather than be hurt and broken-hearted, he’d simply been disappointed. But, he’d let it go. Just like all his other failed cons - though there weren’t so many of them now that he’d been a master thief for so long - he cut his losses and moved on. Happy to be far away from Mars, where he could return to stealing more material things than the jaded heart of a Private Eye. 

Yet now here he is, on Buddy and Vespa’s ship, being given a second chance. Sitting on the hood of the Ruby-7, Cassius Starr is quite pleased with himself. Rex Glass was classy, suave, and seductive, cunning with a deceptive smile as sharp as a razorblade. Duke Rose was… softer. Elegant, refined, almost domestic. Still seductive, but in a way that felt more… genuine. Less playful and more fond. More romantic.

But there’s nothing romantic about what he’s doing right now. Perched on the hood of the Ruby 7, back arched, every article of clothing perfectly tailored to flatter every inch of his figure. Smile sharp, eyes glinting. Cassius Starr is not Rex Glass, nor is he Duke Rose. He is the cherry-picked best traits of the two. Specially chosen and refined with one target in mind. Juno Steel.

He’s had a lot of time to prepare and perfect this persona, and he’s eager to show his dear detective everything he’s become in the time they’ve been apart. Maybe this time it will be enough to make the detective stay. So, putting on the best performance of his life, he flashes a blindingly white smile and says, “Hello, Juno. It’s been a while.”


	2. But I Wish I Was Enough For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassius Starr is ready to test out his new and improved persona on Juno, but things aren't quite as successful as he would've hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had this as a 3-chapter fic, and I think it's still going to end up that way, but I'm changing it JUST in case the next chapter ends up feeling better split into two. Hope y'all enjoy this installment with a little bit more of Peter's inner dialogue, for angst!
> 
> chapter title from Enough for You by Maisie Peters

Cassius Starr is disappointed that first day, when Juno arrives. He’d wanted to test out his new persona on the detective, and gauge any adjustments he would need to make before they settled in and got into their real work. Unfortunately, Juno barely makes eye contact with him as he slips past the Ruby-7 and onto the ship, retreating to his cabin the moment Buddy shows him where he’ll be staying. He doesn’t emerge until the next morning, when they have an all-crew meeting to discuss what their plans will be for the first few weeks on the ship. 

Starr has arrived first, dressed in a fitted navy satin suit over a white blouse and an emerald corset that is overlaid with black lace. He’s let his hair grow in the time since he left Mars, and it falls to brush his shoulders in soft, dark waves that look as effortless as the sweeter-than-honey smile he has plastered on his face. He’s gone for a simple makeup look, just enough black liquid eyeliner to highlight the color of his eyes, and a blood-red lipstick. It’s a mix of the flamboyant elegance of Duke Rose and the sleek, sophisticated look of Rex Glass. 

The rest of the crew trickles in over the next few minutes. Juno stumbles into the briefing room last, looking like he just rolled out of bed, and he barely spares Starr a glance as he collapses into the chair across from him. Starr’s smile falters a little as the detective turns to Buddy and Vespa, who are standing together at the head of the table. The smile returns however, blindingly bright and friendly, when Juno’s gaze flicks over to look him up and down for a moment. And even though the detective doesn’t return his smile, Starr counts this as a win.  _ Not much of the aesthetic to change, then, _ he thinks as he notices Juno’s gaze occasionally flick to him throughout the rest of the meeting. 

They discuss the preparations they’ll need to make for their first job, mainly fixing up the ship (which is still a little battered from Buddy and Vespa’s last job together), taking inventory of their arsenal and supplies, and cataloguing their skills so they can determine who will take what role in their first heist. Starr is delighted when he and Juno are assigned to the task of making an inventory of the food on the ship, and determining what they’ll need to purchase each time they land the ship to restock their supplies. 

Juno looks… less excited about this assignment, but he doesn’t protest. He follows Starr into the ship’s kitchen, and sits down at the dining table that’s been set up, taking out a notepad and a pen. He studies the paper and doesn’t look up as he asks, “So, can you just tell me everything that’s in the fridge right now and we can figure out what we need from there, Starr?”

“Of course, my dear detective,” Starr replies.  _ Right to business then _ ,  _ there’ll be time for talk later _ . Half an hour later, they’ve taken a full inventory of the kitchen, and are ready to begin deciding what their typical shopping list is going to include. Starr takes this opportunity and, rather than sitting down at the table with Juno, instead stands behind him, leaning over his shoulder with his arms braced against the detective’s back, and letting his head hover just above Juno’s shoulder. Juno stiffens up against him for a moment, but then sighs and relaxes into his chair, leaning back into Starr. Starr doesn’t miss the way Juno inhales his cologne,  _ Yes, my dear detective. It’s just the same, isn’t it? Did you miss it? I saved the bottle just for you. _

They stay like that until their work is done, and then Starr stands up slowly, flashing the detective a playful smile.  _ Alright, detective. Work’s done. Now it’s time to play.  _ “Well, detective, that was certainly riveting work.” 

Juno doesn’t look up as he responds with a mumbled, “I’m not.. I’m not a detective anymore, y’know. 

Starr chuckles good-naturedly.  _ No, I suppose you’re not, are you? You’ve had quite the time without me, Juno. What on earth did you get yourself into?  _ “Well, what’s that old saying - you can take the lady out of the detective agency but you can’t take the detective out of the lady?”

Juno doesn’t respond, and Starr leans back against the counter, crossing his arms in front of his chest and smirking at him.  _ Come on, detective. Take the bait.  _ “My, my, aren’t we the talkative one today.”

Juno finally does look up at him, then. He looks hesitant, but there’s a determined set to his jaw as he asks, “Can we… talk? Nureyev?”

Starr has been thrown into a tub of ice water that soaks him through to his very bones, but he keeps his smile is still warm as he quips, “My dear detective, you seem to have me confused with someone else!”  _ No. No, Juno. Please don’t call me that again. That isn’t who I am anymore. Can't you see that? Give me a chance to prove that to you.  _

Juno opens his mouth, and then closes it again, biting on his lower lip. Then he opens it again, “Right. Sorry. My mistake. Starr.” 

Starr laughs dismissively, “Not a problem at all, Juno! Understandable, on a ship with so many new people. I expect it will be an adjustment for all of us. But, why dwell on the past when the future is looking so bright?”  _ Let me show you, Juno Steel. Let me show you the world - you can have it if that’s what you want. It’s all right there, yours for the taking. Maybe you’ll even take me along with you _ . 

* * *

The next few days pass in a blur of planning and preparations. Starr takes every possible opportunity to spend time with Juno, but things aren’t progressing as quickly as he would have hoped. He knows Juno is still attracted to him, the detective still hovers a little closer than necessary, occasionally sighing as he breathes in the smell of Starr’s cologne. His gaze still flickers to Starr when he thinks no one else is looking. But despite all of this, Juno won’t talk to him. 

Starr flirts with Juno relentlessly, constantly teasing him and nudging at him the way that Rex Glass did. It’s different now, though. When he was Rex Glass, Juno had grumbled and mocked Rex’s dramatic platitudes, but at least he’d  _ engaged _ . Now he just shrugs, and makes some excuse to leave or shut down the conversation.  _ Just give me a chance _ , he pleads one day, as he attempts to strike up a conversation with Juno for the third time that day.  _ I know there’s still a part of you that wants this, too, detective. Please, give this another chance. Cassius Starr was made for you. He  _ exists _ for you.  _ I  _ exist for you.  _

“Sorry, Starr,” Juno is saying. “I’ve gotta - uh. That is. Buddy got me some new clothes, since I wasn’t able to bring most of mine, and I’ve still gotta - uh - put them away so. Maybe we could do this another time?” 

_ You won’t get away from me that easily, detective.  _ “Oh? Perhaps I could keep you company? If it isn’t too much of an imposition, that is.” His smile is warm and inviting,even as he feels Juno trying to come up with a way to decline his offer. 

After a moment of tense silence, Juno shrugs and turns to leave the room. Starr follows, satisfied for the moment, and hopeful for the future. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm @shorter-than-her-tbr-pile on tumblr if you want to talk to me!


	3. I Took it Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is going better than expected. Maybe we are making progress after all, detective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Enough For You by Maisie Peters

There’s a pile of clothes on the bunk in Juno’s room, squished down towards the foot of the bed like they’ve been there for a couple of days and were shoved away in an attempt to make room for Juno to sleep. Juno walks over to them and begins spreading them out over the bed. Without turning to look at Starr he says, “So, uh. I actually haven’t tried any of these on yet. And I need to make sure they fit so I can tell Buddy if she needs to return any of them - or get me something else.”

“Are you offering to give me a little fashion show? Juno, I’m flattered!” Starr flashes his sharp teeth in a satisfied smirk as he watches Juno flush. 

“I mean… I guess it couldn’t hurt,” Juno turns to face him and leans against the bedpost. “You’re obviously the fashion expert on the ship. Leagues ahead of me in that department, anyway.” 

“Mmm, yes, your fashion sense does leave something to be desired,” Starr crosses his arms and leans against the wall, appraising Juno’s raggedy and oversized trench coat. “Though I can’t say the rugged detective-turned-space-criminal aesthetic doesn’t have its… appeal. I’m sure you would look stunning no matter what you wore, my dear detective.”

Juno scoffs and rolls his eyes, but Starr doesn’t miss the shy smile that threatens to creep onto his face. “Just… stay out here, ok?”

_ Well, this is going better than expected. Maybe we are making progress after all, detective.  _ He nods, and Juno takes a couple of garments into the attached bathroom, returning a couple of minutes later wearing one of the outfits Buddy has picked out for him. It’s not far off what he normally wears - a pair of fitted black jeans, a thick black turtleneck and a slightly less threadbare version of his trench coat. “My, my. How original,” Starr grins wryly. 

“Yeah, yeah, shut up. I don’t even know why I brought this out. Obviously it’s… fine?” Juno shuffles his feet, looking down at himself and then flicking his eyes up to meet Starr’s. 

“Yes, Juno, your normal clothes look just fine.”  _ Still so insecure and unsure of yourself. I’ve seen many galaxies in my lifetime, Juno. Don’t you know that you’re more beautiful than all of them combined? _ “Go try something a little more… Daring on, why don’t you?” 

Juno glares at him before grabbing another stack of clothes off the bed and retreating into the bathroom. When he next emerges, he’s wearing a cold-shoulder chiffon dress. It’s long and flowy and a dark green that compliments the dark sepia tones of his skin. Starr’s eyes are drawn to the exposed areas of Juno’s muscular shoulders and back; he can see the beginnings of a starburst scar peeking out from the top of his dress just beneath his right collarbone, and when he twirls to show the back, he finds its twin - the exit wound, marked into his skin.  _ You impossible fighter, Juno. Your scars are a history of your life written across your skin. Will you ever share that history with me? _

“You look marvelous, darling,” Starr says as Juno twirls again, the skirt swishing around his legs. Juno looks more beautiful than ever like this, showing off just for him to see. For him to enjoy. 

Juno chuckles a little, and rubs the back of his neck, “Y’think so? Well, I guess this one’s a keeper, then. Don’t know where I’ll get to wear it, though, since it’s not exactly heist friendly, is it?”

“That’s what makes it the perfect disguise, my dear. When pulling off a heist one mustn’t  _ look _ like they’re pulling off a heist, you know.” 

“I  _ don’t _ know, actually. You’re the master thief here, not me, N- Starr.” Juno’s eyes catch his for a moment, and he can see the panic in them as Juno realizes what he’s almost said. 

The name is like a punch to the gut. He thought Juno had forgiven him. He thought he’d finally done enough to wipe Peter Nureyev clean from Juno Steel’s mind. This was the most comfortable Juno had acted around him since they’d been reunited, and yet  _ still _ Juno wanted to call him Nureyev.  _ Still _ he could not erase the past that haunted them; Juno just couldn’t seem to forget Peter Nureyev, no matter how hard he tried to prove that Peter Nureyev was long gone, dead and buried in a box beneath the bed of an empty hotel room in Hyperion City. 

Juno tries on a few more outfits - training gear, more variations on his typical work attire, and a few more dresses and suits to be used as disguises. Starr flirts with Juno as he tries on each one, trying to draw Juno further out of his shell and get him back to the easy banter they’d been so close to just a few minutes before, but not quite getting there. 

Too soon Juno has run out of outfits, and as he hangs them up in his closet, Starr watches impassively, his face carefully schooled into a neutral expression.  _ It can’t be over already. You once told me I didn’t have to go. You were right. Tell me to stay, Juno. Don’t let me leave yet. Please, I know I can get through to you somehow. I know you want this just as much as I do. Somewhere, down in there, you’re still the stubborn detective I met back in Hyperion. You won’t go down without a fight, I know that. But I want you to fight for  _ me.  _ I’m fighting for you.  _

He can’t say any of these things, of course. He can only tease at his meaning and hope for the best, hope that Juno follows his plan, even though his cues have to be much more subtle - Juno’s detective skills are far too sharp for his usual level of manipulation. He can only show Juno what he has to offer, and Juno must decide for himself whether that is worth anything to him now. Even though Nureyev was rejected, Starr is confident that Juno will fall for him again, he just has to play his cards right. So, as Juno hangs up the last of his garments, he continues to silently build up what he knows will be his winning hand, and asks, “Well, if you no longer need me, I suppose I should be going then?” 

Juno closes the closet and turns to the door, where Starr is still leaning against the wall, arms crossed and staring calmly back at him. “Starr, can you… stay for a minute?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next (and final!) chapter will be from Juno's perspective!! I'm really excited for y'all to read it, and I hope you enjoyed this one! <3 Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has read this so far and has left kudos/commented. It's so rewarding to write Jupeter for the first time and to know other people are just as invested in this story as I am.


	4. Try Not to Fall Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, Steel. Now or never. Get this over with. Get it all out in the open. Say what you need to say. No expectations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> upping the rating to Teen for mild swearing in this chapter!

_ Alright, Steel. Now or never. Get this over with. Get it all out in the open. Say what you need to say. No expectations. _ Juno sets his jaw and meets Nureyev’s eyes across the room. Nureyev is still leaned against the wall, smirking at Juno. “Why, of course, Juno,” he says, sharp teeth poking out past his lips. “It’s not as if I have anywhere else to be at the moment.”

“Yeah… I guess not.” Juno’s mouth is dry, and suddenly he’s not sure what he wants to say anymore. He sits down on the now-clear bunk, and gestures for Nureyev to sit down beside him. Nureyev quirks an eyebrow and uncrosses his legs, pushing off the wall to swagger over to the bunk and sit down beside Juno with a poised kind of grace that reminds him - well. Of a dancer. Juno clamps down on that thought as it forms in his mind - a laughing smile flashes in his mind, teasing.  _ No. Stop. That’s not... Not important right now. Focus, Steel.  _

“Something on your mind, Juno?” Nureyev’s eyes are curious, glittering despite the harsh fluorescent lighting. 

Juno takes a breath. And then another. And then he swallows and looks up at Nureyev, “I… want to say something. And I need you to know that I don’t expect you to answer, or to forgive me, or to give me another chance. Damn it I shouldn’t even be asking you to  _ listen _ to me. I know I don’t have any right to ask that of you. But I’m asking anyway. Just… let me explain. Please?”

Nureyev tilts his head back and laughs, hand fluttering to his chest. “My dear detective, always with a flair for the dramatic. I can assure you that all of your actions have been perfectly professional since we met. You have absolutely nothing to explain or apologize for.”

“What? What do you mean I -”  _ Nothing to apologize for?  _ A beat passes and then he gets it.  _ Oh, I’m an idiot. Of course.  _ Rex Glass had kissed him, and had gotten the key to a safe. Duke Rose had posed as his husband and had gotten the plans for his greatest heist yet. Peter Nureyev had kissed him and gotten… Something. He might not know what, but… Of course it didn’t mean anything. It was all just a means to an end.  _ Stupid, Steel. Stupid. _

Nureyev chuckles again, and leans back, bracing his hands behind him on the cot, “Juno, we’ve only been on this ship for a week! What in the world could you  _ possibly _ think you’ve done in that time to merit such distress?”

Juno’s breath catches and the world sharpens back into focus. “ _ What?” _

“Really, Juno, you’ve been a perfect lady and it’s been an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance over the last few days,” Nureyev’s smile is bright and genuine and Juno can’t breathe. 

_ “Nureyev what are you -” _

“Now, really, detective, I do think you’re confusing me with someone else again,” Nureyev cuts him off abruptly, and his laugh and smile are so jovial and teasing that Juno thinks he might’ve imagined the vein of ice that slips through his tone. 

_ How could I have been so stupid? I didn’t expect a second chance, I don’t deserve one, but I didn’t even realize I’d never had a first chance to begin with. It was all just… part of the mask.  _ And suddenly he’s angry, frustrated with himself for being so obtuse, and he snaps, “Look, I get it. It might not have meant anything to you but it meant something to me and I can’t just - just pretend it never happened. So can you please just drop the act for one goddamn minute?”

And then Juno knows he didn’t imagine the ice, because the mask slips, and Juno can practically see it fall away and clatter to the floor between them, leaving only Peter Nureyev behind. Peter Nureyev sits beside him, shoulders hunched defensively, eyes flashing with anger that he’s no longer bothering to hide. He squares his shoulders and sits up a little straighter, fixing Juno with a determined stare. His voice is impossibly even as he replies, “The last time I ‘dropped the act’ as you so eloquently put it, Juno, I got left in a Martian hotel room without a spare thought, so you’ll excuse me if I  _ don’t _ . You made it  _ very  _ clear, detective, just how much Peter Nureyev meant to you.”

_ Shit.  _ “Nureyev, I -”

“_No,_” Nureyev’s voice cracks like a whip on the word, and Juno freezes. “_I am not. Peter. Nureyev. _Why can’t you understand that? I have tried so hard to show you, Juno. I have tried so hard to prove that to you, to prove that I can be worth your time, that I could be so much more than him.”

_ Oh.  _ The truth hits Juno like an open palm cracking against his skull. He stares into his lap,  _ He thinks I left because I didn’t want him. He thinks he wasn’t… enough.  _

He doesn’t have time to process this before Nureyev continues, “I thought that if I… If I made myself someone new again, someone you could love. That you might give me another chance. That I could make you forget whatever you saw in those tombs that made you give up on me. I wanted to become someone else, someone who wasn’t tied to all that baggage. I wanted to be someone you would  _ want _ , Juno. And I tried so hard to… to do that. But I don’t know what you  _ want,  _ Juno. I don’t know what you want from me, and I don’t know how to make you  _ stay _ .” 

Nureyev’s voice wavers and cracks, and Juno’s head snaps up. Nureyev looks up and meets his eyes for a moment, then crosses his arms over his chest and scoots back on the bed to put some distance between himself and Juno. He turns his face away, but Juno doesn’t miss that his cheeks are wet.  _ Shit.  _

_ .... Shit.  _ Nureyev is still turned away from him, and Juno doesn’t know what to do. Doesn’t know how to fix this. He can see now that Peter Nureyev is shattered, and that even though he is now made of jagged, splintered edges, he has still, by some miracle, always managed to soften himself for Juno. Even though he is cracked and broken, he has taken care to make sure Juno never got cut. The whole time they’ve been on this ship, he’s been nothing but polite, amiable. He’s had every right to be angry, hurt. To not give Juno even a second of his attention. But he’s spent the last week doing everything he could to show Juno that it was ok. That he never for one second blamed Juno for walking out that night. 

Juno swallows around the lump in his throat, tries not to choke on the self-loathing that’s bubbling up in his chest. He’s never wanted -  _ needed -  _ to fix something this badly before. He has no idea what he’s doing, but damn it, he has to try. Peter Nureyev deserves so much better than Juno, but right now… Nureyev needs him.

He reaches out and puts his hand on Nureyev’s shoulder, light enough that Nureyev could pull away if he wanted to. He doesn’t, though, so Juno lets his hand rest there, and speaks. “I’m going to say some stuff, now, and I need you to listen to me. I’m not very good at… well, any of this, but you need to hear it, so I’m gonna try.” He takes a deep breath, “Peter Nureyev was the best goddamn thing that ever happened to me. I meant it then, and I mean it now. I’ve never… Never had someone look at me the way he looked at me. Like I meant something. Like I mattered. Like I could actually make a difference in that shithole of a city. It was… It felt like magic. 

“But it was also… Terrifying. I knew I was just going to screw it all up. He had no reason to believe in me and it was just a matter of time before he figured that out himself. I decided I didn’t want to wait around for that to happen. I felt  _ so much _ and I was so goddamn scared of losing him that I threw it all away while I could still do things on my own terms. It was so unfair of me. I didn’t even think about what  _ he _ wanted. I thought if I left… It would hurt him less. It was stupid. I wasn’t protecting him. I was protecting myself. I had no right to take that choice away from him. And I’m just… So sorry. It’s not even close to enough, I know.

“But there’s something else that I need you to hear. That I need you to understand,” Juno closes the distance between him and Nureyev, so they’re thighs rest against each other. He tugs Nureyev’s shoulder gently so that they’re facing each other, and takes Nureyev’s face in his hands, tilting his chin up so he’s looking at Juno. His breath hitches as Nureyev’s eyes meet his, broken and vulnerable and filled with tears that spill over and down his cheeks. He brushes the tears on Nureyev’s cheeks with his thumbs. “I loved Peter Nureyev. I trusted Peter Nureyev. I trust  _ you _ . I love  _ you _ .”

Nureyev takes a shuddering breath in his hands, and his eyes flutter closed, pressing his cheeks into Juno’s palms. So, Juno continues, “You are the most incredible man I’ve ever met. You came into my life and made me believe that it was worth something. You had no reason to trust me, no reason to believe in me. You  _ expected _ a future for me that I couldn’t even imagine. You barely knew me and you gave me everything you had. You gave me your name, your life, your history. I need you to know how much that meant to me, Nureyev. I didn’t know then what to do, how to handle that. I didn’t know how to be the person you saw in me. But I loved you so much for it. 

“Ever since you left that note for me, that night, you’ve been Peter Nureyev to me. And you have to hear me and believe me when I say that that has  _ always _ been enough,” Nureyev opens his eyes and looks at him, and Juno glimpses what he saw there when they first met; he sees galaxies of hopes and dreams and promises that he does not deserve. Juno can’t fix this. He can’t undo the hurt he’s caused, nor can he put them back together like two puzzle pieces ripped apart by the cruelty of his own mind. He doesn’t know where they’re going to go from here, but that isn’t important. He’s already gotten more of Peter Nureyev than he deserves, and he can’t even begin to express how grateful he is for this man who gave him everything and  _ still  _ promised him the stars, but he offers a promise of his own in return. He wraps Peter Nureyev up in his arms, and presses a kiss into his soft hair, and whispers, “You never have to be anyone but Peter Nureyev for me. You only need to be Peter Nureyev for me to love you.”

_ I love you. I love you. I love you, Peter Nureyev.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so, so much to everyone that's been following this story. I wouldn't have finished it without your support, and every time I got a comment on a previous chapter it made my day. thank you for being invested in this story as much as I am <3<3<3 it means the world to me. I hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Still You, Still You Want Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They agree to take it slow, and they decide to be open with the rest of the crew about what’s going on. Peter is the one to tell them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fourth chapter was initially meant to be the end, but then I decided to add a little epilogue. this epilogue was meant to be just a couple hundred words, but it got... very out of hand. I wanted it to be IMPOSSIBLY soft and I think I got there. enjoy the thief boy finally getting the snuggles he deserves!!! 
> 
> title from Next to Me by Imagine Dragons

They agree to take it slow, and they decide to be open with the rest of the crew about what’s going on. Peter is the one to tell them -- they decide it’s best for him to do it alone, to give him a chance to tell his version of the story without Juno there to listen or interrupt. Nureyev hopes he can tell the story in a way that shifts some of the blame away from Juno; he doesn’t want everyone to turn on the poor detective for an unfortunate mistake. 

He gathers them in the meeting room, with the premise that he has an announcement to make. Juno stays in his cabin, gives them space. Nureyev tells his story, how they met, how they fell in love. How Juno wasn’t ready yet, but is ready now -- how they’re both ready to try this. The crew sits in silence while he talks, and when he finishes the room is somber. Buddy thanks him for being honest, Jet echoes the sentiment and Vespa nods in agreement. 

The stillness of the room is shattered when there is a quiet sniffle from Rita. Heads turn toward the sound, and the second Nureyev’s eyes (hesitant and shifting) catch hers (shining and filled with tears), she scrambles back from the table, her chair shrieking across the floor. “OH, Mistah Stahh! I ain’t never heard something so sad and sweet in all my life!!”

And suddenly she’s on his side of the table and she’s colliding with his midsection, which, despite knowing how short she is, still surprises him. Despite being small, she manages to wallop him with her hug hard enough that he stumbles back a bit with a startled _ oof _. She squeezes him tight and buries her face in his stomach. He awkwardly pats her head for a moment, and then (realizing she isn’t going to let go immediately) slowly relaxes into her arms, slipping his around her in return. He hopes he isn’t as flushed as he feels from the unexpected attention. 

No one hugs Peter Nureyev. Not like this. Juno held him once in a hotel room after they’d been trapped in a tomb and tortured and broken, and then again when they were reunited on this ship, finally done dancing around each other. Juno held him together while he came apart and put himself back together again. It was like shelter in a hurricane. But this is different. This is comfort and warmth and safety, and even though she is half his size she manages to make him feel entirely and thoroughly encompassed in the embrace. It’s like sunshine, like sitting in the middle of a field of blooming flowers, watching the bumblebees fly by. It’s… overwhelming, honestly. He tries to keep his breathing even as she holds him tighter, and he leans down a bit to tighten his hold of her a bit in return as he says, “Thank you, my dear, your kindness is… deeply appreciated.” 

Only then does she finally release him, pulling away to tilt her head up to look at him. “Oh, Mistah Stahh, we’re just gettin’ started! I’ve got_ just _the thing for this!!” 

And then she’s zipping around him and out the door before he can react. He looks around to the rest of the table, who look just as bemused and confused as he feels. Buddy shrugs and shakes her head, smiling. After a moment, Rita bursts back through the door carrying a mountain of blankets taller than she is. From behind it, her muffled voice calls, “Al_right _ !! Everyone on the couch!! We’re havin’ a MOVIE NIGHT! There’s this _ great _ stream that I like t’watch whenever I get sad or whenever Mistah Steel needs to be cheered up. You’re gonna LOVE IT. And I got snacks and blankets and hot chocolate and pillows and-” 

He’s got to put a stop to this. “Rita, my dear! I don’t think that will be necessary, really I’m fine! Everything is as good as can be expected, all things considered. I don’t want to impose on everyone else’s lovely evening plans.” 

“Oh, Mistah Stahh, this ain’t optional! All of you are going to sit down on this couch and cuddle and watch some streams and eat snacks and cuddle and you’re gonna LIKE IT!” 

He rubs a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose just above the bridge of his glasses, and sighs. “Now, really, Ms-” 

“OH NO NO NO SIR JUST RITA IS FINE THANK YOU!!!! Now, everyone to the couch!!”

Nureyev looks around the room, hoping someone else will protest. Jet is already walking obediently toward the couch, and Buddy and Vespa are having a silent conversation. After a beat of silence, Buddy smiles a little ruefully and Vespa chuckles, and they follow, leaving Nureyev standing alone in horror. Rita returns from the kitchen carrying several bags of salmon snacks and a gigantic bowl of popcorn. As she sets them down, she looks up to Nureyev again, “Ain’tcha gonna come sit down, Mistah Stahh? I’m gonna start the stream now!” 

Nureyev lets his shoulders slump, and he resigns himself to the ordeal this is bound to be. He sits down, feeling thoroughly awkward, between Jet (who has grabbed a bag of salmon snacks and is shoveling them into his mouth), and Buddy and Vespa (who have nestled and tangled together under several of Rita’s blankets, Buddy’s head resting on Vespa’s shoulder). 

Rita flops down between him and Jet, her poofy skirt pooling around her and over his right leg. She queues up the stream and sits back, grabbing blankets and (much to his mortification) tucking him under them. She relaxes beside him for a moment before bolting upright again, “OH WAIT!!! THERE’S ONE MORE THING I FORGOT!! I’ll be RIGHT back.” 

She extricates herself from the blankets and darts out, the room falling utterly silent without her. Nureyev tries not to pout. This is not how he had planned to spend his evening. He had better things to do than watch some silly stream, as though _ that _ could make this any less uncomfortable than it already was. 

Rita returns a couple minutes later, tugging a very confused looking Juno behind her. He stumbles through the doorway, “Rita! What-” 

He catches himself on her shoulder and stands back up, surveilling the room. When his eyes land on the couch, with the mountains of blankets and pillows and snacks, he straightens. “Oh. Movie night?” 

“That’s what I SAID boss! I swear sometimes I think ya never listen to lil old Rita!” She releases him and bounds over to the couch, throwing herself back down into the blanket mountain. Juno follows, calmly, as though he knows exactly what’s going on. (Juno will later tell him that this is a mutual agreement. If one of them says movie night, it means the other needs to be cheered up, and they’re going to snuggle and watch streams until that happens. If it’s her, he’s more than happy to oblige. If it’s him, he’s learned to just shut up and go along with it - it always works anyway. Nureyev’s heart will flip and something will tug at his ribcage at the thought that he’s been welcomed into this ritual. That Rita believes him deserving of the same love and comfort she offers Juno. That he’s included in this.) 

Juno sits down between Nureyev and Rita, and he holds out his arm so that Rita can snuggle into him and rest her head on his chest. Nureyev watches all of this with his mouth hanging open. He’s never seen Juno be… casually affectionate like this. Nureyev watches him tug a blanket up around Rita’s shoulders and tuck it in so she’s snug up against him and something inside him twists. His breath catches when he sees the softness of Juno’s smile when Rita burrows further into the blanket and gets more comfortable. 

He stops breathing entirely when that smile turns with full force to_ him_, and Juno meets his eyes. As Rita hits play and the opening credits of the stream start, Juno (with something like hesitation in his eyes) opens up his other arm and says, “C’mere.” 

Nureyev swallows the lump in his throat, and nods, bridging the gap between them and leaning into Juno, using his shoulder as a pillow. Juno grabs another blanket from Rita’s side and uses his free arm to wrap it around Nureyev, who freezes. Nureyev thinks he might never breathe again. Tucked into a blanket and the arms of a grumpy private eye, Nureyev is stiller than he’s ever been. 

He knows he must feel stiff, but he’s so unpracticed at this, so unused to this casual comfort and effortless affection that the others share. He doesn’t know how to be soft like Rita. Doesn’t know how to be loving like Vespa and Buddy. Doesn’t know how to be casual like Jet. Doesn’t know how to be a friend like Juno. He wants to learn, though. 

So, when Juno’s hand finds its way into his hair, carding through it and scratching gently along his scalp, Nureyev leans a little further into the touch. He wraps his arm around Juno’s waist, relaxing and softening himself so he can snuggle closer to the lady who loves him, who, despite everything they’ve gone through, wants Nureyev by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank all of you enough for sticking with this fic as I wrote it. Every single kudos and comment made my day, and I hope all of you know how much I love and appreciate you! Genuinely I never would've finished this if it weren't for all of your encouraging comments. I never dreamed when I started this that it would get so much attention, and I'm so grateful to everyone that encouraged me and my angsty shenanigans. This epilogue is my (not-so) little THANK YOU bonus chapter for every single person who has supported this fic. I hope you enjoyed it, and (seriously) thank you again. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3
> 
> I'm @shorter-than-her-tbr-pile on tumblr if you wanna come say hi!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @shorter-than-her-tbr-pile on tumblr!


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